I’m writing this to get clients. Every week I read columns written by important, multi-titled advertising executives who generously share their proprietary methodologies proven to yield statistically significant results. There’s "humanity brand building," "no money down branding," the "shoot on Scotch tape to make your Web-mercials stickier idea" and the "make them laugh, make them spend theory." I’ve tried them all. And you know what? They work.
That’s why I’m writing this article using "power persuasion copy" developed by an EVP/ managing partner/global who revealed, "The sooner you ask for the order, the better your chances of achieving your goals—ninety-nine percent guaranteed." Notice how quickly I got to the point (see first sentence). I suppose I could have reversed the order to: "I want clients, that’s why I’m writing this article," but I wanted to put my own personal spin on it, a tip I picked up in an article titled "Make Your Pitch Yours" by an SVP/account director/ North and South America. If you’re a client, you must be all mine, baby. Come to papa.
An important insight I picked up is "repetition gets results" in the piece "Say It Again Saatchi and Saatchi and Saatchi." It said to repeat the point you want to make often because repetition is not annoying; it’s comforting. "Think of your favorite jingles. They repeat their sticky message, and customers move their feet to the beat of the cash register." Catchy. That was written by a VP/senior strategist/musicology/urban. I’m writing this article to get clients. I’m writing this article to get clients. Cha-cha-cha. Ka-ching.
Another article suggested that to get results we shouldn’t yell or tell—we should ask. "It’s friendlier and engaging, it’s the original interactive sell." This came from a CCO/EVP, human resources/new media. By the way, are you a client? Did you know I’m looking for clients? That’s why I’m writing this.
A couple of issues back I was struck by an article, "Ad-Altruism: The Seemingly Selfless Way to Get Ahead." It said if you commit an act of kindness for someone, even the competition, you will be repaid many times over, ergo the name of the technique: "the chain letter effect."
Personally, I do feel kind of bad being so upfront about why I’m writing this article, considering all the good-hearted people from other agencies who take time from their work to write helpful hints for their peers so we can be more successful, never thinking about making themselves famous or attracting potential clients. So here’s what I’ll do, in an offer of genuine generosity to all those who have given so much. Should this article get our agency new clients, I’ll write another article detailing all about it so you, too, can win new clients like us! (After all, that is why I’m writing this.)
