I’d like to share some pearls of wisdom my father frequently shared with me.
Like a mantra, he told me, “Take the time to listen,” “maintain your sense of humor” and “maintain a proper perspective.”
His name was Howard but everyone called him “Boots.” He was a renaissance man; some might say a visionary. He was a people person.
In the early ’60’s, he developed a chain of movie theatres in and around Baltimore, creating Baltimore’s first “art houses,” as the critics coined them. He exhibited first run foreign films, and the community no longer needed to travel to Washington D.C. or New York to see to the likes of Fellini’s La Strada, Bergman’s 7th Seal or Truffaut’s 400 Blows. They went to Boot’s theatres where local artists displayed their art in the lobbies, and everyone sipped cappuccino instead of soda, and munched biscotti instead of popcorn.
He designed Maryland’s first multiplex theatre, long before the multiplex became the norm. He created the “The Twins” and added the “The Mini-Twins” a couple of years later, giving customers a variety of choices at the same location.
He had a sense for what for what excited people.
During this time period, Maryland had a film censor board that determined what movies could be shown. Three women in their early to mid ’60’s, without any formal training or college degrees, were appointed by the governor to watch every film that might play in Maryland. They had the authority to approve or disapprove what played in Maryland. They governed what you could or could not see, banning an entire film or force scenes to be deleted in spite of the volunteer G, PG, R or X rating system.
In 1969, he contracted the Swedish film, I am Curious Yellow, a coming of age story about an 18-year old girl exploring her identity. They voted unanimously that 5 to 10 minutes were pornographic, without any socially redeeming value, ruling these scenes HAD to be deleted before they gave the film the states “seal of approval.” Without the seal, the film was banned from playing Maryland.
He was so incensed that our freedom of choice was violated; he challenged the validity of their decision and took them to court. The case, Wagonheim vs. Maryland’s Censor Board went the Supreme Court of the United States where he lost, on a 4 to 4 vote and one abstention. Without a clear majority, the boards ruling was deemed valid and the film never ran in Maryland in its entirety. He lost the case, but it brought the board’s iron clad power to everyone’s attention, and the citizens outrage led to the boards disbandment.
He knew what Marylanders ultimately wanted.
My father didn’t live long enough to have an email address, a Facebook page or Facebook friends, but was loved by the community. He had this gift for making you feel you were the most important person in his life at the time you were talking to him because he liked to listen to you. He asked questions and you did most of the talking.
He did most of the listening because he wanted to learn more about you. He wanted to get to know you, and the more you talked, the more he understood your fears, motives, desires, etc. That’s one of the major reasons he was so successful, personally and professionally. He understood.
Listening engages people and cements relationships. People feel better expressing themselves because it’s very comforting being heard.
Who wants a shrink that talks all the time?
People adored my father because they felt they were heard, and the more they felt heard, the more they opened up to him and he learned. It was mutually beneficial.
I learned over time, listening is as effective as is talking in order to persuade someone of something successfully. Creating a sale is not the result of telling someone, “I can make the number work.”
Creating sales is the result of persuading someone to see “things” as you do in order to change a “NO” into, a “maybe,” and a “maybe” into a “YES!”
I heard their “problems,” the project’s “Achilles heel,” and the clues giving me the insight to position the negotiation. As the negotiations continued, I listened for the words not being said that warned me if my strategy was on target, or I required a new strategy and a more diverse approach.
“I want to work with you” is not “we want to work with you.” I was not getting this job when I was told, “I want to work with you” because the process involves numerous people. Who of this “we” wants to work elsewhere, and how can I get access to them?
The bonds of friendship strengthen from listening to one another instead of talking at one another. Children want to be heard, not told, spouses too, and clients especially!
Advertising is like a dark comedy some days. Maintaining your sense of humor will get you through the day. These are challenging times, and we’re exhausted being challenged. I promise there is humor in almost every situation. You just have to train yourself to look for it, like racking focus, weaving through blurred images, finding that crystal clear item.
In order to maintain a proper perspective, place yourself in someone else’s shoes for a change and examine the moment through their eyes to understand what’s motivating them. What is the under lying reason?
I’ve been responsible for creating revenue for many years. It’s very rewarding strategizing, booking the job, building careers and companies. The flip side is that it’s incredibly stressful, especially when the jobs don’t book, board flow is board flu and you have to deliver the bad news. That’s when everyone is in your face. I’d leave the office, my eyes glazed with the veil of depression, and I’d remind myself “maintain a proper perspective”.
I have a beautiful, healthy, loving family, and I love what I do. I have a roof over my head, three meals every day, my health and my worst days are better then 99% of the world’s best days, plus I have an opportunity to do it again tomorrow. I am very lucky!
So I remind myself everyday, to take the time to listen, maintain my sense of humor and maintain a proper perspective. Thanks dad.
Industry veteran Rick Wagonheim (rick.wagonheim@me.com) is an animation/visual effects executive producer and consultant.
Netflix Series “The Leopard” Spots Classic Italian Novel, Remakes It As A Sumptuous Period Drama
"The Leopard," a new Netflix series, takes the classic Italian novel by Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa and transforms it into a sumptuous period piece showing the struggles of the aristocracy in 19th-century Sicily, during tumultuous social upheavals as their way of life is crumbling around them.
Tom Shankland, who directs four of the eight episodes, had the courage to attempt his own version of what is one of the most popular films in Italian history. The 1963 movie "The Leopard," directed by Luchino Visconti, starring Burt Lancaster, Alain Delon and Claudia Cardinale, won the Palme d'Or in Cannes.
One Italian critic said that it would be the equivalent of a director in the United States taking "Gone with the Wind" and turning it into a series, but Shankland wasn't the least bit intimidated.
He said that he didn't think of anything other than his own passion for the project, which grew out of his love of the book. His father was a university professor of Italian literature in England, and as a child, he loved the book and traveling to Sicily with his family.
The book tells the story of Don Fabrizio Corbera, the Prince of Salina, a tall, handsome, wealthy aristocrat who owns palaces and land across Sicily.
His comfortable world is shaken with the invasion of Sicily in 1860 by Giuseppe Garibaldi, who was to overthrow the Bourbon king in Naples and bring about the Unification of Italy.
The prince's family leads an opulent life in their magnificent palaces with servants and peasants kowtowing to their every need. They spend their time at opulent banquets and lavish balls with their fellow aristocrats.
Shankland has made the series into a visual feast with tables heaped with food, elaborate gardens and sensuous costumes.... Read More