Oh, the weather outside is frightful. But don't head to the multiplex to stay warm. Not if you're seeing "Nosferatu," anyway. Bring your hand warmers, toe warmers, heart warmers and soul warmers — this update of the 1922 silent vampire classic will chill you to the bone.

But it may not terrify you. Everything in Robert Eggers' faithful, even adoring remake, from his picturesque 19th century German town to those bleak mountain snowscapes leading to that (brrr) imposing castle in Transylvania, looks great. But with its stylized, often stilted dialogue and overly dramatic storytelling, it feels more like everyone is living in a quaint period painting rather than a world populated by real humans (and, well, vampires) made of flesh and, er, blood.

Eggers, who writes and directs here, has described being haunted since youth with F.W. Murnau's 1922 "Nosferatu," starring Max Schreck (which borrowed so much from Bram Stoker's 1897 novel "Dracula" that the author's estate sued for copyright infringement). Eggers has said he wanted to present a true vampire, meaning the original folk variety — the horrifying, ugly, venal sort. Not the seduce-you-in-a-dinner-jacket kind.

And certainly not the "veggie vampire" who drinks only animal blood (think "Twilight"). No, Eggers' vampire, Count Orlok, wants only human blood — preferably from a lovely damsel.

The damsel here would be young wife Ellen (Lily-Rose Depp), the focus of Orlok's obsessive desires. In a nod to changing times, Eggers brings the character to the forefront and suggests that in 19th century society, she was unfairly seen as "hysterical" when actually, she was, you know, possessed. The lovely Depp fully commits to the high drama — but we don't learn much about what's in her head.... Read More