Saturday, Sept. 25, 11:09 p.m. I’m on a date with a supermodel, sitting in a trendy West Los Angeles eatery. Recently divorced and out of the dating scene since Clinton’s inaugural term, I feel like Bill Murray’s character in Lost in Translation.
The date is going well. She hasn’t spotted any of my character flaws yet. Out of the corner of my eye, I glance into the bar and see that MAD TV is spoofing our Chili’s "Evander Holyfield" Olympics spot.
I excuse myself hastily from the table and run into the bar, yelling at the bartender to turn up the volume.
The spoof is surprisingly funny. It’s playing to the fact that boxers, in general, have trouble enunciating. And for Evander Holyfield in particular, saying "barbecue sauce" is a chore. In this spoof, Evander is fired over elocution, and a casting session ensues to replace him. The first character to take a whack at saying the line properly is Mike Tyson.
When the segment ends I stand at the bar, lost in the moment. An odd sense of pride wells up. One of our spots has been embraced by enough Americans that the producers of MAD TV find it spoof-worthy. Cool. I feel ready to take our place in the Hall of Spoofdom, if such a thing could ever exist, right there next to the Citibank "Making Change" SNL spoof and the ubiquitous Oscar Mayer "My Bologna" song.
Gotta call Sean Holt to see if he’s watching. Damn, got his voicemail.
As I turn to go, MAD TV runs a second spoof segment. This time they’ve got impersonators of Tom Brokaw, Eve, Clay Aiken and Norm MacDonald. There is audible laughter at the bar.
Again I drift into thought. Ten years in this industry I’ve been involved in multi-million dollar ad campaigns. Been flown overseas. Had a hand in Lions, Clios, Emmys and One Show Pencils. And while these awards recognize excellence among industry peers, something was always missing.
By attaining spoofdom on national television, well, I’ve finally found the thing I never knew I always wanted. Perhaps there should be a new award—The Spoofy. A solid gold figurine trophy with a fake nose, eyebrows and glasses.
From somewhere deep inside I hear a small distant voice: "Your date is waiting at the table … your date is waiting at the table … YOUR DATE IS WAITING AT THE TABLE!"
Oh my God! I left Tall, Dark and Bony all alone. What if she leaves with someone tall? Or rich? Someone remotely attentive?
MAD TV is now running a third spoof segment, just as I had wished for, assuring our place in the Hall of Spoofdom. The segment features impersonations of Robin Williams and Kirstie Alley. The place is uproarious. I imagine myself atop the bar. "I’d like to thank all the people who made this moment possible—my mother, my father, members of the academy…"
Gloating, I return to an empty table.
The napkin reads, "Can you get lucky with that television?"
Hmmm.
