The gala first: I went alone. I guess I was too loud on Friday night. I wound up, not in the main theater, not the second theater, but in the third theater somewhere near the Italian Riviera. I walked in and the place had about 200 people who didn’t win because we were in the third freaking theater.
As I walk by the front of the theater, the screen behind me goes on with the live feed from theater one. The music starts. The giant Cannes flag comes down. I feel like George C. Scott in Patton. This is my moment. I look out at the crowd and say, "How does it feel to be in a room full of losers?" I’d expected much laughter; no one makes a sound. They all just stare at me—the stupid, English-speaking American in a suit. As I slink over to a seat on the side, it hits me. "Not funny." They all thought I was the freaking MC.
Traktor wins the Grand Prix (all 200 of them). Great spots—well done, Steve. @radical wins the Palme d’Or. Well done, Jon and Frank. The show was a bit inconsistent—some good, some crap. That’s Cannes.
Highlights: The woman on the pier, trying on bathing suits. The diving contest was a fix. Marcio Moreira won, and Amber Music’s lunch was perfect. The Needham or DDB party (I never get that straight, and I wonder why I don’t work there) was a dance fest. I danced with everyone—men, women, whatever (two whatevers). I got soaking wet from the people dancing in the fountain and splashing. The Gutter Bar was full of young people who said I was great, then gave me their $2,000 bar bill. Flattery and ego are so expensive—and, oh, yeah, don’t drink fine wine, then beer (ouch).
Best dressed: Karyn Planett.
Worst dressed: The Brits and Brian Farhy.
Best Laugh: Peter Friedman.
Best Hat: Claire.
Best Duet: Jessica and Melanie.
The Phantom: Stavros.
Great Sports: Joe Pytka and Mrs. Pytka.
Almost as Crazy as Me: Jim Ferguson.
Worst Cameraman: Rick Boyko.
Rookie of the Year: Not Mitch Kanner.
MVP: The Creatives on the San Francisco Jazz Festival spot. It was funny.
Most Missed: BBDO, Ray Lofaro and David Levine.
Biggest Problem: Too many reps and not enough agency. The agencies sent in entries and kept their people home. It’s not really a recession. Yeah, right, George W!
