Seeking relief from the endless barrage of bad news last month, I turned to the Fall Classic for escape. As I listened to the announcers drone on, I suddenly realized that the corollaries between sports and making music for TV spots are there for anyone to see—and no one ever said it better than the incomparable Yankee catcher and philosopher Yogi Berra. To wit:
1. "Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical." Of course it is. The mind-body issue comes up constantly in our business, too. For instance, my clients and I often obsess about what this type of work does to you physically. Maybe if we’d all stop thinking so much about our bodies, we’d get done early enough to go home and have a quiet dinner once in a while.
2. "Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hitting." As musicians we often try to figure out why we haven’t "hit" with our clients. Sometimes in frustration we’ll smash a water cooler or go get drunk. That leaves us feeling a lot like professional ballplayers—until we realize no one’s paying us for our efforts.
3. "You give a hundred percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn’t enough, in the second half you give what’s left." The corollary of this is, of course, always giving at least 200 percent—which is about half as much as is asked of you, especially when you’re already late for dinner.
4. "Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore; it’s too crowded." I don’t need to add much to that one. Being somewhat responsible for attracting clients to our studio, I never like to admit to someone we’re overbooked. There probably is such a thing as being too popular. Maybe I should replace myself with a snobby mâitre d’ from one of the "impossible" restaurants in town.
5. "It gets late early out there." Tell it to FedEx. Somehow, the next-day deadline on the West Coast is five hours earlier than it is here. I don’t get it, but I bet it’s something their "packaging experts" could figure out if they really wanted to.
6. "I really didn’t say everything I said." As in, "I know I told you we could give you eight demos by noon, but the messenger must have been mugged somewhere in Midtown." Lately I’ve been thinking most of these conversations are taped for future use against me.
7. "In baseball, you don’t know nothing." At least Yogi was brave enough to admit it. In spite of my years in music school, and my experience in this business, I’m often baffled at how short a hop it is from "We love it" to "I think we need to explore some other options."
8. "A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore." If only my accountant would admit it. And if the economy keeps going the way it is, I may have to stop throwing my pennies in the trash every night.
9. "It’s déjà vu all over again." When I was in college we used to laugh about this one all the time. Then again, we were so out of it sometimes that we’d laugh at just about anything. Like the time my roommate set himself on fire. I get déjà vu just thinking about it.
10. "If you come to a fork in the road, take it." It’s not quite Robert Frost, but I get it. Our business is always fraught with career-making decisions. Given a choice, I usually come up with a firm "I don’t know, what do you think?"
11. "I usually take a two-hour nap, from one o’clock to four." I generally try to prop myself up in front of the computer as best I can, and assume a peaceful but intelligent look. Even with my eyes open, I can usually get some quality rest.
12. "It ain’t over ’til it’s over." Yogi was way ahead of Lenny Kravitz with this one. In music we usually say, "… until the fat lady sings." Though I rarely go to the opera unless I’m really sleep deprived, I like that image better. Anyway, I gotta go—I really am late for dinner.
