By Robert Goldrich

Director Tim Bieber of Mr. Big Film, Venice, Calif., introduces us to the new national pastime, musical chairs, in this :60 promoting the Stockton Ports, a minor league baseball farm team of the Oakland A’s.
    We open on a high school coach who explains to us that the school board voted to include musical chairs in its athletic curriculum after seeing the “sport” as one of the between-innings activities during a Stockton Ports’ game. Clearly, this coach is a bit too intense when it comes to musical chairs, putting his student athletes through the grinder to extract optimum performance from them.
    First, we’re on the school track where a race is about to begin. The coach fires a starting gun at which point kids sprint for their destination–which turns out to be just a few feet away, some chairs to sit in.
    Next comes the video room, in which the youngsters are forced to watch the techniques of musical chair professionals. “I’m not just teaching you about musical chairs,” exhorts the maniacal coach. “I’m teaching you about life.”
    What follows are a succession of practice drills designed to make the kids preeminent in the chairs game. The coach emphasizes that smarts, athleticism and proper daily hygiene are crucial. The latter entails kids taking the wax out of their ears, subject to the coach’s inspection. Indeed you have to hear when the music ends so you know when to sit down.
    “The girth of a big butt has the ability to deny chair,” affirms the coach, as if he’s imparting one of life’s profound lessons. He then demonstrates the importance of attitude, sitting on a chair and challenging the kids “to take this chair from me.” All the kids back down to his intimidating manner.
    Another training ritual shows the coach pulling the chair out from under an unsuspecting kid about to sit down. “Not quick enough,” says the coach.
    This is followed by some temper tantrums on the part of the coach. In one scene he throws away his clipboard in utter disgust. In another, he dropkicks the clipboard, muttering he should have been a car salesman instead.
    A voiceover intervenes, “Musical chairs at Stockton Ports,” accompanied by a Ports logo, phone number and Web site address for baseball game ticket info.
    We then get the coach’s parting shot as he lectures to his student disciples. “I am one with the chair.” The kids then repeat in unison, “I am one with the chair.”
    Bieber directed and shot “Musical Chairs” and two other similarly themed spots highlighting between-innings activities, “Headlight Bashing” and “Human Bowling,” in this campaign conceived by a creative team at Gumas Advertising, San Francisco. The offbeat tact of using quasi sports to promote baseball represents a refreshing change of comedic pace.
    The Gumas creative duo consisted of creative director/copywriter Walt Whitman and art director/writer Kevin Bonner.
    Kate Zimmer executive produced for Mr. Big, with Lisa DeLeo serving as producer.
    Editor/audio post mixer was Victor Brown of Mad River Post, Santa Monica. Colorist was Steve Meyer of Zoic Studios, Culver City, Calif. Music composer was Mark Governor.
    Principal actors were Bo Folginiti and Kevin Puett.

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